What is a good BG?

[Guest]

>Does a relationship with a Thai B/G *have* to start from this concept, in the eyes of the girl?<

 

i don't think so. as in all cases where people are involved, love can, and does happen.

the only difficulty is to see the difference between "real" love and the illusion of it. even after so many years here, speaking thai relatively fluent, i have still at times difficulties to see if a particular case is love or not. not easy.

a further difficulty is, that this "mia chao" concept is by far not only prevalent under BG's, often the mindfucks of so called "good girls" are way more elaborate.

 

also, thai man are conned as well into it as we westerners. right now we seem to have a case like that in my family here, which starts turning into costly conflict.

 

i don't want to say here that all women are bad, that post here is not quantative. but it's more like coming from that in this society here nothing goes straight, so one has to learn to find out realities by very subtle signs. going straight does confuse things here often only more.

 

 

[Guest]

>I have always thought, not without a reason, I could move the mountains. <

 

it's a long uphill struggle. having been here for long does not necessarily save you from all that, there's always another battle waiting for you, especially when you think now you are over the worst.

but still, it's worth it.

sometime you lose, which is humilating and depressing, but you'll succeed in the end as long as you keep a positive outlook, learn your lesson (and there are always new ones to be learned), hope not to make the same mistake twice.

 

in this place here you can have the highest highs ever, and the lowest lows as well. but fortunately boredom is very rare.

 

 

[Hamokhamok]

Yes I found that too in respect of porn. My BG purchased some porn VCD' s( my money of course). Back to the hotel. Put them on and she spent hours watching them. She then tried to practice what she had seen - and she did a good job there too. So it wasn't all a waste of money. While I was with her, which was for a week or more she used to watch the VCD's on a regular basis. She was into sex but not too much. She did make sure she got pleasure out our sex together it wasn't all for my pleasure.

[Guest]

Hi Fly,

 

The premise of a 'mia chao' (rented wife) is that a Thai girl professes her love for you, while not really loving you, and agrees to be your wife (or permanent long-time girl friend). Is this correct? They are with you because they say they love you, when it is really ulterior motives that has her living with you? Obviously, these secret motives being to her benefit.

 

This would certainly explain the infidelity of some Thai wives, or girlfriends. They stray easily because the do not care about you (at least not as much as they should, or say they do). Do I have this right so far?

 

I'm assuming the benefit to her is that she is taken care of in the way a normal wife (live-in G/F) would be. Shelter is provided, food, entertainment, clothes, some money to family, etc. In other words, she looks at this arraignment as going long-long-long-long time with a customer. I'm also assuming she is entering this with the knowledge that it won't last a very long time. She is entering this arraignment to satisfy her present needs, and doesn't look at being with you as a life-long situation for her. Just something that has come her way (your love for her), and she's milking it for what she can. She obviously would not be sure where it will end up, but maybe not a great concern for her at the beginning. The opportunity has presented itself, so she grabs it, knowing at least, her immediate future is secure, caring about little else.

 

This is how I'm reading this concept, anyway. Please tell me where I'm wrong. I'd like to get a handle on this.

 

Another thought is that is would seem a B/G could make more money working the bar, than simply existing as a rented housewife, and would also be free to do as she liked. Unless.....she is entering into this relationship with full knowledge that she will be working on the side, and just needs to find ways to hide that fact from new husband/boyfriend.

 

If this is the case, and 'mia chao' is widely practiced among B/G's, then would explain much about fidelity issues here. Most B/G's aren't faithful, because they never intended to be, from day 1 of the relationship. Maybe it's not that many Thai B/G's just can't resist from opening their legs for others because of sexual desire.......maybe it's because they never intended to close them for others in the first place.

 

God, this would explain sooo much. No wonder TTM's girlfriend ducked the question. This is the very last thing they would want us to know about.

 

HT

 

 

 

 

 

[thalenoi]

[color:"blue"]As for me, I'm already regretting what I did. I think of Thalenoi and Mee. It looks like after a year now, it may end for them. But I bet if you ask him, he would not have given up this last year of his life for anything. Better to have loved and lost her, than never to have known her at all.[/color]

 

The end for us soon??? I surely hope not, bottle of champagne on 18th nov, one year celebration.

We now are on daily phone calls (S**t the phone bill!!) consoling each other with 12 days to go before being reunited.

 

My concern is money, and this wil be the next testing ground: will she stay with me whilst having an uncertaintain financial future. It might take an other 6 to 12 months to be cleared out ( I might need to find a suitable job, business, what? where? iso living retired). Plus the separations are a real danger.

 

And yes, [color:"red"]"better to have loved and lost her, than never to have known her at all."[/color]

 

I can not answer this thread's question, but could answer the question "What is a good ex-BG" (an other thread?) I still think I have a good one.

 

And HT, I will need to live with her "close to always" to make the relationship work. I need medical check-ups twice a year even Bumrungrad can't cope with (I've been there, I know they can't) and that brings the money issue up again. Running in circles...

[thalenoi]

Says kamui:

---

It seems that this kind of part time relationship (some weeks in LOS, some weeks back home) can only work as interim solution or needs a very special set up, like moving her to the country side to live in a stable, small community/village.

---

 

Yeah, that's exactly what I am trying...

 

I'll watch out for that "Mia chao" concept, thanks Fly.

[Guest]

that is somehow the idea.

but of course, i have to point out, this is not meant quantitive. a very closed friend is living with a girl he met in a bar, and i and my missus are convinced that she really is in love with him.

to be with him, she also gave away the possibility to make a lot of money.

 

on the other hand, a girl who recently married my missus's brother just came to a visit here to bangkok, and turned out to be exactly what we descibed here, trying to milk me over her brother and my girlfriend. she was rather shocked when my missus had a real go at her after the cow pointed out how lucky my missus were, that i am rich and give everything (wink - wink...).

what the cow did not know of course is, that when me and my missus met, i was fucked up and poor, and in the years we have been together, there were more than one point when i lost more or less everything.

it is another one of these very complicated thai topics...

[Guest]

>I'll watch out for that "Mia chao" concept, thanks Fly.<

 

please don't take that post here as a reason to be overly worried about your relationship.

i don't know you, nor your girlfriend, so i will not attempt to judge anything.

in some aspect it might not even matter if your girlfriend would see herself as "mia chao", not all girls who see themselves as "mia chao" are unfaithful and might rip you off. some actually are rather contend with what they get, are faithful, take very well care of you, and might even learn to love you one day.

it is a lot more complicated than it sounds.

 

often, so many women here told me, a much stronger motivation to be with her husband than love (or our concept of it) is to feel a compassionate bond with the man (in the buddhist sense).

 

the only thing what matters is that you and your girlfriend find an for both sides acceptable way of living happily together, a give and take. only very closed friends of you have any right to judge or comment on your relationship, nobody else.

[Guest]

Hmm, I think in all this posts about the faithfullness of BGs there is something missing:

What I think to have learned from the few BG I know is, that for them to be faithful has not necessarily anything to do with having sex with other men or not. For them it means that they care about only one man.

Sex workers learn to seperate sex from love, so for them having sex with another man is about the same as for us to have a drink with another girl. It doesnt mean that they are unfaithful, at least not in their eyes.

And sometimes they even dont know that they will hurt their BF with their behavior.

 

Just some ideas.

[Guest]

I've heard this many times.....that many B/G's simply see sex with a stranger as a business transaction, devoid of any emotional attachment. But I think in 99% of serious relationships, the B/G is well aware that she is expected to not continue taking customers (unless OK'd by husband/BF). Anybody starting a serious relationship with a B/G is going to make this very clear, I'm sure.

 

>>>It doesn't mean that they are unfaithful, at least not in their eyes. <<<

 

Yea, but they know it is wrong, and will go to great lengths to hide the fact from you. And you just try and fuck around on her. You better remove all the knives from the kitchen the night she finds out about it.

 

I've often wondered about this. If they truly believe sex and love are two completely different things, then why would they care if you continue to screw other B/G's after entering into a relationship, as long as not with anyone she knows. Why can't you just tell her, "I not care about her. Only sex. I not love her", and everything will be OK. Well, of course we know it won't. She'll go nuts if she finds us screwing around on her. In this respect, I find this stock answer "only customer, he mean nothing" more bullshit, than truth. She knows exactly how she would feel if she found out you were screwing around on her. Therefore, she knows exactly how it would make you feel, also.

 

HT