kamui Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 I know for a fact I can not eliminate that need from Hawaii, or anywhere else, except by being there in BK. So in the end, maybe I made the right choice. I guess I'm looking for justification to my action. What I have learned up to now, that a relationship with a BG is so fragile for different reasons (some of them I just learned in this thread, like the need for sex and the concept of "mia chao", fly wrote about) that you either should live in LOS or take her with you, which means for Europe to marry her, because of the visa regulations. I have made my decision already. If I meet HER, I will take her with me. Maybe then there is a fair chance. It seems that this kind of part time relationship (some weeks in LOS, some weeks back home) can only work as interim solution or needs a very special set up, like moving her to the country side to live in a stable, small community/village. HT, this said, your decision could be right, but probably you missed some of the most wonderful, most horrible months of your life. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 >one of the many reasons for that behavior is the concept of "mia chao", the rented wife. especially when a girl met her husband in a bar very often the marriage is somehow seen as an extension of her work there in the bar. so many times, there is from the side of the girl not much what connects her and the husband beyond sex and money, different language, different culture, different age, etc., none of both have the ability to adapt to the other. the concept of "mia chao" is completely foreign to most westerners.... Fly, your post should go as a banner, for anyone to read first before posting anything about relationship with a BG. From 30K feet, it explains almost all of my problems with my gf. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 Hi Fly, Boy, that sure puts a bright light on things. I've not heard of this 'mia chao' concept before. This would certainly explain a lot. Does a relationship with a Thai B/G *have* to start from this concept, in the eyes of the girl? HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jp1 Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 Very interesting statement. Never heard about that before. Like H.T. I'd also like to know whether this 'Mia Chao' concept is generally (in most cases) applicable. Some more info is appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 HT, I just mentioned the "mia chao" concept to my gf and she immediatelly ducked off. "Not mutt talk to me". Must be a shocker for them that we have grasped the thing. At least, she has left the web cam on. Fly, a very valuable post of yours. If it counts, you gonna be a prince in your next incarnation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 Hi Kamui, >>>HT, this said, your decision could be right, but probably you missed some of the most wonderful, most horrible months of your life.<<<< My thinking exactly, both then, and now. In the end, I think I made the right decision. I'd hate to be back here in farangland torturing myself every waking moment wondering what she was up to. Well no......let me rephrase that..... knowing what she was up to. And absolutly powerless to do anything about it. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 HT >But I'm already thinking that as an exorcize in futility. I've just seen, and read, too much to know better. Whatever the motive for infidelity really is for them (money, hightened sex drive, severe insecurity....) it is far stronger than the collective us. But whether I walked away, or didn't.....the pain is still there, just in different forms. < Yes, whatever, the pain is still there. 6 months later. "an exorcize in futility" HT, I am not sure where you're from, so no offense intended. but your use of the word "exorcize" got my attention. I assume you mean "exercise". at he same time what you wrote is more like "Excorcise" e.g. using a mystical process to get rid of a bad spirit ( my interpretation, no time to look in the dictionary). I wish i could " exorcise" the bad memories of my experiences with NOK, withouth losing the good memories. But I cannot, they're intertwined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamui Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 We should declare this thread and the thread "BG Disaster - my turn" by Think-too-mut to a "must read" for all newbies at Nanaplaza! I think this could avoid some expensive mistakes for some of us. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 >And absolutly powerless to do anything about it. Hells Bells! I have always thought, not without a reason, I could move the mountains. Always successfull until...I met a BG. Hey Fly, where are you now? You are needed here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 29, 2002 Report Share Posted October 29, 2002 >>If it counts, you gonna be a prince in your next incarnation. << believe it or not, already in this one i'm something like that... :: doesn't help much though, i'm still a poor fuck who has a hard time making ends meet. :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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