Mia Noi Allowance

[Guest]

>>>>>They sacrifice love, children and family life to be a mia noi as they will never have any of that<<<<

 

The fact they are sacrificing "LOVE" to be taken care of, is very telling. To me, that alone salitifies what the situation is. A business araingement. Not that love cannot be part of it, or become a part of it, either originally, or subsequently.

 

But that was my original question, wasn't it?

 

HT

[JJsushi]

HIGH THAIED said:

 

A whore, by my definition, would be a woman who gives it up for the sheer enjoyment of it, and give it up for anybody, money not part of the picture.

 

Where I come from we call that a "slut" not a whore. A whore works for her money. A slut just gives it up.

 

[buffalo_bill]

bkkexile,

 

due to unfortunate genetic circumstances married men start f****** around sooner or later. There might exemptions , I only know of one poor soul. It has nothing to do with being tired of your missus, I am not for example after many more than your 15 years.

 

I would have to think about it what the true motives are behind a Mia Noi but a strong one is certainly to repeat a romantic phase in your life, hopefully exciting sex included. A Mia Noi is not a decision you take against your missus although she might have a different point of view :onfire:.

 

BuBi

[JJsushi]

bkkexile said:

 

Does anyone know whether a divorced woman is considered damaged goods in Thailand?

 

Thanks

I don't think so and I guess it is dependent upon which circles you travel in. I know of a few divorced Thai women. The current leader of the opposition party has been living with a divorced woman for several years now.

[Guest]

HT, just when you thought you'd figured it out...

 

Many minor wives have children with their 'papa' (see JJ's example from the Philippines) so they are hardly sarificing 'a family life.'

 

As minor wives are often located in a different part of town, another city or another country, they do not forgo being seen with him at all, rather probably see more of the man than Wife No. 1.

 

Sacrificing 'love'? It all depends how you define it. In many cases the mia noi is not sacrificing much at all, which is why it appeals to them.

[Guest]

Hi JJ,

 

A good round-about answer to my question. I'm not hung up on the numbers, other than they seem to be unrealistic for what you are getting, unless you have money to burn. My question was what is the motive???

 

Your example shows peer pressure, acceptance, and the ultimate ingraining into the culture.

 

But then you also state:

 

>>> The answer is simple, the buyer can afford it and most importantly he WANTS it. <<<<

 

I guess the answer lays in the particular situation. Your uncle has 7 kids, 5 of which are from his 3 mia noi's. Can that be a good thing? Sure....he might be able to put a tee-shirt on their back, and put some food into their mouth every night. But is he really there for them all? I'm trying to not be judgmental, but come on?

 

Nobody should express an analytical attitude about the fate of these offspring? And question the validity of such relationships? Well....I am. I've yet to hear a positive side to a mia noi situation. Not that I'm willing not to. I am no prude, to be sure. But stories like yours just solidify my belief that this is not nessessarily a good thing.

 

I'm really not passing jugement, and understand it is ingrained in certain cultures. I'm only asking how it is a good thing, other than the selling of flesh. And asking why it is not simple prostitution, in it's purist form.

 

HT

[Guest]

>>>>As minor wives are often located in a different part of town, another city or another country, they do not forgo being seen with him at all, rather probably see more of the man than Wife No. 1.<<<<

 

Really? This is in total contrast to what I know. Are you talking about Thailand? With the car parks with with drapes around your car, to protect where you are, and who you are seeing?

 

HT

[JJsushi]

HIGH THAIED said:

Hi JJ,

 

I'm not hung up on the numbers, other than they seem to be unrealistic for what you are getting, unless you have money to burn. My question was what is the motive???

 

 

The motive will vary from person to person HT. There is no one size fits all answer.

 

 

I guess the answer lays in the particular situation. Your uncle has 7 kids, 5 of which are from his 3 mia noi's. Can that be a good thing? Sure....he might be able to put a tee-shirt on their back, and put some food into their mouth every night. But is he really there for them all? I'm trying to not be judgmental, but come on?

 

A matter of perpective. How would you define " there for them"? Many would argue that parents in the States are not really there for their children. In a dual income household the parents spend 60+ hours a week out of the home.They are not there full time to supervise their children. You have more kids in America today taking mind and mood altering prescription medications and seeing pshychiatrists/pschologists(all with the permission of these parents seeking a "quick fix" to their childrens mental and emotional problems). The children feel disconnected from their parents and like strangers. American children are also the largest consumers of illegal drugs in the world too. Then you have the well to do people that I know who have the means to live without working another day of their lives, yet they don't spend time with their children leaving theim in the care of nannies and sending them off to boarding school (really popular in the Northeast US where I am from). They provide for them but they are not physically really there for them.

You really do have to define what you mean by "there for them".

 

 

Nobody should express an analytical attitude about the fate of these offspring? And question the validity of such relationships? Well....I am. I've yet to hear a positive side to a mia noi situation. Not that I'm willing not to. I am no prude, to be sure. But stories like yours just solidify my belief that this is not nessessarily a good thing.

 

Again a matter of perspective. What do you consider negative about such situations? Once again they are lifestyle decisions entered into by both parties.

 

 

I'm really not passing jugement, and understand it is ingrained in certain cultures. I'm only asking how it is a good thing, other than the selling of flesh. And asking why it is not simple prostitution, in it's purist form.

HT

 

You are passing judgement because there is a moral bent to your arguments and your questions and statements have a negative stance int he form of your not agreeing with the way things are done. To not have a judgement your post have to have a neutral form, which it doesn't.

 

Well if you really wanted to be technical many would consider marriage a form of prostitution. I personally don't look at it in that extreme way but you could certainly make an argument for it.

 

I guess if you wish to apply a strict definition to prostitution don't attempt to differentiate the various forms of it then yes a kept woman would be considered a prostitute in the strictest sense.

 

I really don't see how that matters much though. It may be a practical way to view it but human nature and actions don't adhere to strict definitions. To attempt to box and categorize these situations is really an exercise in futility because none are going to be identical or consistent enough to fit a pre-determined model.

 

What is good about such arrangements is that two people get what they are initially seeking.

[pattaya127]

Do you think most are resigned

-----------------------

Why resigned?

 

Even if educated, these women are cetainly not aspiring to executive jobs, so they will always have a boss and a work schedule to respect. It comes down to personality, if the girls could have a paying job and prefer doing nothing, waiting for her sugar Daddy, or lover.

 

Books and movies in every language have been written and made about kept mistresses. Some might find love with a more modest guy and finally decide to live for herself and newfound love. Some are starting to hate themselves or the old guy and just quit. Some talk of finishing the RT and never do it, etc....

 

Again, mia nois are both a cultural institution, while still open to individual vagaries.

[pattaya127]

She is a woman who forgoes being seen with him, children, and a true husband she can call her own, in return for providing sex to him

----------------------

I think you are trying to box human behaviour in one neat case. I had a young friend here whose mother was a mia noi of a rich guy (her father) who had 3 or 4 other mia nois, so she had half brothers and sisters all over the country.

She told me her father had always been good to her Mom, and was paying for her to be in San Francisco for her studiyng. Just one different case, there are many others...

 

Also, some mia nois are no more for sex than even some P4P girls. the guy likes to escape from his homelife, and may very well not have sex a lot with his alternative companion.

 

There are many guys who also are not humping their hired wives from the bars, any which way or time they can, sometimes, not even.

 

I understand sex tourism, but part of that iceberg is not to be defined exclusively about picking up or hiring one for sex. BF for the night, OK, but one would be surprised how many guys are not often indulging once they have company for/during their trip, and it's not based on the girl's refusal or laziness.

 

Off topic, sorry!