Guest Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 Was in a Thai store tonight. A ladyboy was misbehaving around Thai men. Nobody got upset. In villages, I have seen women squueze the lady boys breast, but never have seen one do anything with a Thai man. I have talked with Thais, and some married Thai men do have sex with lady boys and gay men, but they seem to not let everybody know what is going on. As for this situation, generally turning away from the person is enough to stop what he is doing. What would happen if he pulled out a knife? Or worse yet, a gun? A common pracice near soi 13 was for lady boys to fundle a man. Once the man got excited, the lady boy would bend over and pull out the man's manhood. While the lady body was doing this, his other hand would be using a utility knife to cut the pocket where the man's money or wallet was. Imagine the damage a utility knife can do. I once saw one person who got cut up pretty badly - not pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 >>>A ladyboy was misbehaving around Thai men. Nobody got upset. <<< that depends again very much on the situation. first of all, ladyboys do enjoy some special social position here in thailand and always have so, a position which is not given to gay men (other than the very effeminate ones). secondly, were those people in that shop strangers or friends/acquintances of the ladyboy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 29, 2004 Report Share Posted March 29, 2004 Zaad said: What you should do in this instance is call him over to you, politely.Explain in the simplest terms that you like ladies, not men. Shake his hand, smile and voila! Situation defused. That's probably what the Pope would have said as well, but you must understand that not all people *have the ability* to remain calm after such rudeness. I, for one, couldn't. Experience has told me so and no matter how much and hard I concentrate to do the 'right' thing, I can't. I simply can't control my reflexes after such unexpected and very provocative gesture. I don't blame PJC because of the fact that it was a very unexpected move. It's quite a different situation when the guy smiles at you, looks at your dick, grabs the package etc....then he actually gives ME time to think and act properly and HIMSELF the avoidance of a deserved beating. IMO I also believe his reasoning for doing what he did in a crowded elevater creates the assumption of expecting no real (or public) struggle which would be a fantastic motivator for me to ignore. Besides, do you honestly think that a person who does such thing will have ears for your explanation of having a liking for ladies, smile back and ... voila? I don't think so. I think you misunderstand.... What is done is done. The problem now, is that he wants to walk around without looking over his shoulder constantly. My solution is to make the peace, without submission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 30, 2004 Report Share Posted March 30, 2004 Seems like some people are giving you the advice and try to make talk to the guy, make peace, buy the guy a beer, etc. and other people are saying don't buy that little sleazy, low life prick a beer, don't bitch up, be a man and just keep your guard up. I think the solution is whatever will give you the most peace of mind. None of us are in your shoes. None of us were there to see what really happened. I think the people that suggest that you be the bigger man and make peace are really trying to give you the advice that will help put closer to this stupid shit that happened to you and "nip in the bud" any future drama with the little scumbag, cockroach prick. Of course, maybe you are still pretty angry yourself. Hopefully time and space will smooth this one out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pom_Jao_Choo Posted March 31, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 Thanks for your response. I get the idea that because I reacted swiftly with a slap to his head. People are interpreting me as the type who enjoys good fight. And thats absolutely not the case. I am really do go a long way to avoid conflict. However If I had been sheepish or friendly with this guy the next time I saw him he would only have used this to uperhand his position that I had acted incorectly. That I met his gaze as he did mine showed that I feel my actions were waranted. I saw him again as I was leaving the building 2 days ago, I ignored him. He was with 2 male friends and he was obviously saying something crude about the ferang. I'm not really woried about this guy. Unless he had a knife or gun, theres really nothing to wory about. I do have the ability to un-arm people verbally. JJSuhi are you a lawyer? I believe your argument could have bearing in a legal proceeding. In real life though the push was absolutely instinctive and the slap was a further gut reaction of a defensive nature, there was no full second between his grope and my second action. So you might win a legal battle with that I'm not sure I don't think it would be fare. It is very different what one might expect depending on their environment. If I was in a go-go I might very well expect a katoey or some other to get silly. I would in a different fram of mind and know how to react. For any who proposed that I should have removed myslef from harms way Please re-read these parts --------------------------------------- "The couple with young child step to the back left corner and I barely fit in, as the male their conversing with has hardly moved from the door. The Thai's continue to converse. After a few moments of discomfort (not really uncomfortable) I decide to step around and beween into the back corner of the lift where it's more roomie. No sooner than I had wedged myself into the furtherst corner of the lift to be un-present, than the male (who does not to any prejudicial judgements apear/seem gay) slides straight up beside me, ------------------- Now that's 4 adults and an infant (pluss bags) in a thai elevator, not a basketball court. And thanks for everyones input. I was a little woried at first, and needed some others experienced in Thailand to bounce it off of. --------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 I dont think you over reacted. Infact I think you were rather restrained with your actions. Even though we are in a different country with different values you have to stand up for yourself. I am sick of being told that things are 'different' in Thailand, and the meaning of that being that I have to sacrafice my own personal space, beliefs, and principles. And what is with all this political correctness? I have an easy going nature but some guy touches my pecker like that then I would make sure he would never do that to me again. And if he gave me more cheek about retalition I would put him in a world of hurt. Jai yen yen.. ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 This has been a great thread. Lots of interesting thoughts. Just every time I see the header I get Bob Marley singing "I shot the sheriff...". Sorry about that...carry on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 Pom_Jao_Choo said: JJSuhi are you a lawyer? Did one year of law school, hated it and went to Wall St instead. I hate Wall St too but I don't know where else to go. I should have been a high school physical education teacher. They have fun and get a pension when the career is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 Only addressing the aftermath here..... If were me, I'd try to make the peace. You see this guy sitting on the steps, walk over with 2 beers, and sit down beside him. Offer him one, and then explain why you did not like. I'm sure he knows what he did was wrong, but is now a stand-off relating to the face issue. Simply sit down, hand him a beer, grab at yourself exactly as he did, as say, "Mai khao jai. Mai chawp. Khao jai mai?" (I don't understand. I don't like that. Can you understand?) And then take it from there. Much better solution than having to look over your shoulder for the next 2 months, or in the more exstreme....moving. Better to confront the issue, settle it, and then move on. You might find the guy was high on whatever, is embarrased about it, and wants to put it behind him, even more than you. Reaching out to grab a stranger in public in any fashion, is not looked upon favorably in the Thai culture. He did so in full view of his own khon Thai apartment dwellers, and then got smacked for it. There is no way he does not know that his actions were totaly inappropiate. And there is no way he is not wishing he had not done that. My point is the incident was not anything that earth-shaking. I certainly wouldn't want to walk around in fear for a long time, when a 3 minute conversation could easily defuse the whole incident. At the very least, by confronting him, you will realise what posture/platform he is taking, and solidify what retributions might be coming your way. It's always better to keep your enemy close to you. That way, you can know what they are up to. HT PS. Don't forget that this guy is going to have to step into same lift every day. Trust me that he is going to be very embarrased everytime he has to enter with the same khon Thai that were present that day. His only hope of saving face is for them to see you both have settled the issue. Use that fact/knowledge to your advantage. I really do believe he would want this put behind him, more than you. You can enter lift with your head held high. He can only enter staring at the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosyourdaddy Posted March 31, 2004 Report Share Posted March 31, 2004 Yep I agree with ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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