Old Hippie Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 CT, Thanks, you seem to have gotton my point. ML, One last time OK yes, I am dependent on my pay check. O>K> now supose you, my dear pal decide to start sending me an extra $500 a month because it makes you feel good, and you can afford it...great. Now, I do something stupid like by a car my own salary won't cover...or a house my salary won't cover, whatever... etc...I am now desparate for your support. In fear of losing your money, I might go get another friend to send me more money, which I blow, putting me further into dependency...now assume I do something productive, like go to school which my paycheck won't cover...I am dependent on your money to finish it...your money is based on a whim, my salary from my job is not a whim. A whim may well go away as fast as it came, or faster... I may also decide more guys sending me money is really great, I get 3-4...and I really spend big, start missing work, because I really don't need the salary, I have you and the others sending me cash...now I get fired...Now I am really denpendent on you... Now assume I quit my job, and live on the big money you send me, more than I would make working...all I do is shop, hang out, and wait for you to come around...I have no need nor desire to do anything with my life, no need, as I rely on you to support me, my ambition/initiative is dead as a direct result of your sending me money. Now do you get the picture? The bottom line is, Sponsorship does hurt more than it helps, in MOST, BUT NOT ALL cases...again, based on my own knowledge and experience...trust me, it really fucks these girls up, be they whores or "GTGS" taking money as part of a relationship (in other words whores also)...most of these girls with sponsors get into a life style they cannot ever maintain on any realistic salary, and are always relying on a guy to help them out...they often piss away oportunities for a better relationship/life because they have the sponsor, and keep thinking they will get more and more...seldom ever lasts that long/way...some do, most do not... It is like a spoiled kid who's parents just give him money, and never require him to earn it, after awhile he grows up with a sense of entitlement, and thinks the world just owes it to him, and expects it to get bigger and better, without ever having to earn it, or do anything for it... That is the best I can do to explain it to you, if you still fail to see it, then I can't help you...free country, believe what you want, in short, we will agree to disagree... Dragon, Let me assure you, you are not the first guy to fall for a bar girl, and you will not be the last. I will spare the board a repeat of my Infamous Si Saket girl saga, but it happened to me, after 16 years of saying "...it will never happen to me..." Don't sweat it, just be careful! best of luck to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drogon Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 I nver say "never". Falling for a BG? Yes in a sense but this is my heart and my brain which are working now, I never let (except once -> 8k LT) my little brain think for me. Comparison with spoiled kids is just right. Now I must say that these types of behaviour are everywhere but here it is a specific part of the thai population we are talking about. (and maybe the only part most tourists see?) Are all BG the same? No some good, some bad (good or bad from which standards?) some with sponsors some without. Know I must say something about the sponsored ones I know. they are conscious that they will not be sponsored all life but as OH tells it, it is a kind of addiction (like gamblers etc...) In their search of the best sponsor they are finally fooling themselves as they will end at 35-40 without nothing. (if they were not lucky-clever enough to find a secure husband) Sending money? A stupid thing IMO, why would these girls refuse. Now sending money is not a problem for me if: - you can afford it and have no special expectations apart from having a "better service" next time you are in town. - You sponsor her just for the time she goes back to your place or you to her place. Now, it is your money and it is up to you. My Rt will probably not work but I will do every possible thing to make it work, if I do that, she will have too, but I will do that without loosing my pants even if my heart will be a little bit sad if it does not. Never fall for a BG.........but they are human beings too so am I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topcatta Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 So now we have established the division of 2 parties, lets cut the Yes/No/But bull shit. All points have been stated over and over. SO look at it a little bit longer than your nose is. For the guys who like to sponsor: it is common knowledge your gal uses the sponsor money for make-up, fragrances, clothes, shoes, mobile phones etc. Okay you can say necessary things for sex work. Other cost post are sick buffalo and house for parents, raising her kid(s). Most of these cost are short term. A gameplan with a savings account to invest in the girls future is usually absent. In general Thai culture is to think about the immediate results and not about long term investments. By the time she is as 'old' as 30 she is most likely not gonna have so much customers anymore after that it even goes more down hill. The girl is forced to work some back ally massage place and be happy if she gets 100 baht a day for a customer to show up. So when you like the idea of sponsoring why dont you pay for a college/university degree directly to the school, pay her housing directly the owner etc. This way you really can make a difference. Or you set her up with her own business so she can face that future. Cause they all know they are gonna be out of the business one day because of old age. At least your money is spent positively. Or put it into a bank account for her old age to be released when she is 35 or 40? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 Topcatta gave me a good idea which is most like impossible to realise. Let's say one is willing to send 30k let's asume she is giving her family 8k You give her 15k in total and you put 15k in a savings account which she will get after 1 year and only if she doesn't stay in the city, she gotta go home! My idea behind this is to teach her how to live on the money she actually needs. When the bloke is in Los she doesn't need to pay for anything and 15K for her and her family is a decent amount in Isan. If she doesn't blow the deal she will receive 180k after 12 mont It is educational in order to have a long term plan, it teaches her how to spend the money more wisely and if she gets through this she will be rewarded with a big amount! is it foolish? is it impossible or is it a good idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 "... foolish? is it impossible or is it a good idea?..." Foolish, but not impossible, and a good idea, if it actually works, but short of being there to check up on her, how do you know she is keeping up her end of the deal...? As has been stated, it is a risk at best... Topcatta wrote... "...why dont you pay for a college/university degree directly to the school, pay her housing directly the owner etc. This way you really can make a difference. Or you set her up with her own business so she can face that future. Cause they all know they are gonna be out of the business one day because of old age. At least your money is spent positively. Or put it into a bank account for her old age to be released when she is 35 or 40? ..." Still no real guarantee she will finish the school, she could possibly get a partial refund and run off with the money, the rent? she can sublet for less, and pocket the cash, or take in roomates, and thus you are paying the rent on a place for her which she is using to make money (o.k. I guess?)...open a shop for her? what if it loses money? or she sells it off for a pitence for fast money? (happened to a friend of mine)... Long term saving account for her old age? why? you may be long gtone by then, and she will not think that far in advance...the biggest problem with Thai girls is they live in the moment...future? what the hell is that? and many tend to think the money/bar work will not end...there are tons of old hags still atround in the trade...some may have a shop or something back home, but still come to BKK for their regulars on holiday... In short, no real solution, take the chance or don't...up to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 Old Hippie said:but short of being there to check up on her, how do you know she is keeping up her end of the deal...? If she goes home you will hear it! VoIP telephony makes it a cheap thing to call your telak'jaa everyday! You gonna hear the family, the chickens or something else you usually don't hear! The recpetion is usually not too good! You could call her at bar times! Many chances to check up on her.. uhm I meant, many chances to call your telak to tell her how much you miss her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 Short of being there, it is too easy to be played..."...family no had phone mut to buy new mobile...mobile work mai dee my home..." blah blah...guys, don't be nieve here, these girls are masters of deception...hell she already has you sending her money thinking it will help her...the rest is easy...as I said, easy to lie to a person who wants to believe the lie because he is stupid in love...been there, done that...the lie will fall apart with deep intensive questioning...as she most likely did not think it through...but then a really love struck punter will bvelieve the follow up lies as well...there is no 100% sure way to check up on her, to think so is just nieve... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianTroy Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 give her a cheap charly phone! find out her adress and ask 1 -2 call or orange or dtac if the network covers her house and she can't fool you! How is it that educated men getting fooled by uneducated girl! If there are TOO many excuses it isn't real anyways! But who likes to believe that?!?!?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 "...How is it that educated men getting fooled by uneducated girl!..." Many of us are lonely, desparate and pathetic for love, and the girls know it, and exploit it. "...If there are TOO many excuses it isn't real anyways! But who likes to believe that?!?!?!?!..." Exactly...keep in mind, this is in many cases all just part of the game/business. Sad is, many don't like to believe it, or just won't believe it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted June 7, 2006 Report Share Posted June 7, 2006 ChristianTroy said:Topcatta gave me a good idea which is most like impossible to realise. Let's say one is willing to send 30k let's asume she is giving her family 8k You give her 15k in total and you put 15k in a savings account which she will get after 1 year and only if she doesn't stay in the city, she gotta go home! My idea behind this is to teach her how to live on the money she actually needs. When the bloke is in Los she doesn't need to pay for anything and 15K for her and her family is a decent amount in Isan. If she doesn't blow the deal she will receive 180k after 12 mont It is educational in order to have a long term plan, it teaches her how to spend the money more wisely and if she gets through this she will be rewarded with a big amount! is it foolish? is it impossible or is it a good idea? The problem as I see it is that you come of as a 'father' that theaches her daughter how to behave. It's an 'up / down' attitude. This is something I struggle with as well. My wife is a shopper while I'm a saver. Currently I earn all the money in the household. I need a large savingsaccount to feel safe. This brings a lot of problems. The way I have don it is to transfer a certain sum to her account no strings attached. She can use it as she sees fit. With what's left I pay the bills, some to savings. The rest is 'ours', and she can use what she thinks she needs. Again she does not have to ask me for permission, if she think she needs it she can use it. Nevertheless she feels the need to ask when using the card. In one way it's ok, as we need to talk about what we should use money on, on the other hand I do not want her to feel she need to ask me for my money and that I am the boss who say yes or no. At the same time I would want her to consider me and what I want as well. It's a very difficult balance of which the best ofcourse is that she start earn her own money. As it is it works well and although she likes to shop she is not a big spender. Buys small cheap things mostly and are now on her way to budget her money perfectly over a month. I'm not sure this would be possible in a long distanse relationship where we had seen each others a few weeks a year. It's an ongoing delicate process where we adjust to each others over time as we learn to know each others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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