Mekong Posted July 21, 2023 Report Share Posted July 21, 2023 I was in Asda with the missus and put a box of Stella in the trolley. “What do you think you are doing”? Asks the missus. I reply “its on offer £10 for 24 cans” “put them back we can’t afford it“ she said. A few aisles on she picks up a £20 jar of face cream and put it in the trolley. “What you doing”? I said. “it makes my face look beautiful” she replied. So I said, “so does 24 cans of Stella and its half the fucking price”. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted July 25, 2023 Report Share Posted July 25, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted July 25, 2023 Report Share Posted July 25, 2023 I have notice a slight error in the Infochart I was provided with, that being “Temperature” There should be a Question “Are you measuring weather Y/N?” N Centigrade Y Then Hot or Cold If H Then Fahrenheit (86 F sounds hotter than 30 C) If C Then Centigrade (Minus 5 C sounds colder than 23 F) This tactic has been used by every UK tabloid newspaper since decimalisation 1971 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted July 25, 2023 Report Share Posted July 25, 2023 A bloke walks into a cafe and looks at the menu. Cheese roll: 10 pence Ham roll: 20 pence Wanks: £10 He then sees a beautiful young woman behind the counter with a beautiful body and huge tits. He says “Do you give the wanks?” “I do!” she said “Well wash your hands, I want two cheese rolls” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted July 28, 2023 Report Share Posted July 28, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted August 7, 2023 Report Share Posted August 7, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted August 9, 2023 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2023 How good are photocopiers 😊 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted August 14, 2023 Report Share Posted August 14, 2023 There was a very English businessman on a red double-decker bus going home who overheard two Indian men having an argument - “No, No, No - it is spelt Whoom - double-u, aitch, oh, oh, em - Whoom!” said the first. “No, No, No - it is spelt Woom - double-u, oh, oh, em - Woom!” said the second. Back and forth it went until the Englishman couldn’t stand it any longer “Gentlemen, I apologize for intervening, but I have an Oxford education and believe the word you are looking for is spelt double-u, Oh ,Em, Bee - Womb!” The two Indian guys looked at each other for a moment then the one turned to him and asked “Sir - Have you ever heard an Elephant fart?” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted August 15, 2023 Report Share Posted August 15, 2023 I took my phone to the repair shop the other day with a large crack on the screen I wanted fixing. He told me to close Porn Hub 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted August 19, 2023 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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