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A woman was in a coma for months.. Nurses were in her room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her. 

They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement. 

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." 

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. 

After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. 

The nurses run back into the room. "What happened?!" 

The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked."

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Shortly after having returned to Mar-a-Lago in 2021, Trump is walking along the beach, feeling pretty dejected about everything. He decides to go for a swim, but ends up going a little too far from the shore, and since he’s in poor condition, he begins to drown.

Suddenly, three teenaged boys spot him from the beach, rush into the water, and rescue him.

Back on the beach, Trump, after regaining his breath, thanks the three for saving his life. “Anything I can do for you guys, name it!” he says. “Bigly! I alone can fix everything!”

The first boy says, “Well, I want to go to West Point, but my grades are lousy.”

“Say no more,” Trump responds. “All those teachers work for the Deep State anyway. I’ll get you a spot at West Point.”

The second boy says, “Well, I can’t find a girlfriend.”

Trump says, “Just grab them by—well, I’ll talk to Melania and hook you up!”

The third boy says, “I want to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery.”

Trump, a bit puzzled, says, “You’re only eighteen! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you! Why are you thinking about your funeral?”

The boy replies, “Because once I go home and tell my father that I just saved you from drowning, he’s going to kill me!”

  • Haha 1
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