Not Sure How To Handle This One

[Flashermac]

In the 1980s I had some Pakistani neighbours, Saudia Airlines stewards. They were always after the servant girls. One of them came home and found a teenage maid cleaning his bedroom. He threw her onto the bed and raped her. Then he handed her 100 baht. She was still bleeding several days later, the guy had been so brutal. (She was a virgin.) But go to the police? Oh, no ... people might think she was a bad girl.

 

TIT

 

But I agree with Stick. If the guy gets away with it, he'll do it again.

 

 

[Faustian]

And it's unlikely to have been his first time................

[Central Scrutinizer]

Bust,

 

I am sorry to hear about this if it happened as she told you.

 

I do though have a few qualms/reservations/red flags about her from what you have said and what she has written.

 

It seems strange to me that she says these things, as she has NEVER met you in person but only knows you from the net and some phone conversations:

 

* "But we've known each other for quite a while. And I feel safe and trust you. That you will never judge me but will always open your arms and take me in."

 

She knows all this and she has never met you?

 

* "I admitted it took a me while to get me out of my grief because i care deeply for you and it was hard for me to not having you around. And I was serious with you and what we were. and believed that one day we will be together as we're meant to be."

 

Here again this seems very odd to me. She cares deeply about you, yet has never met you. It is hard for her "not having you around'? She was serious with you and 'what we were'. What exactly were you except for internet chat buddies? She's never met you, never spent personal or even just normal time with you in person. It sounds like she has romanticized you into some mythical farang lover. It sounds very adolescent and childish. And this one: "and believed that one day we will be together as we're meant to be." Very fantasy-land and girlish thinking here and it sends red flags in my mind that the woman is not 'all there' and lives in a dreamworld like a teenager. It sounds to me she has some issues and this sort of talk from a woman I had never even met physically would scare the crap out of me. I'd be running in the other direction hearing this stuff. It is a sign, to me at least, that she has little grounding in reality. She sounds extremely immature.

 

* And then when it seems like I'm about to be out of the blue, in the last month. I met someone and I'd been dating him since.He's an american guy. Everything seem to be perfect. Good education.. graduated from Berkely USA ..going to get PHD, polite, good manners, good jobs. Living in Thailand as a researcher for the famous University in Thailand.Treated me well. We started as friends. I told him a lot about you as I was serious about you and my feeling for you is real although we haven't met. I told him I wanted to stay friends as i don't yet get over you. He took it well...and very patient. And then during the last week. i've been to his aprtment more often to do things....it went well. Until last Saturday. I was at his aprtment and he asked if I am physically and emotionally with him. And if I am ready to take the next step with him. I said i needed more time. he pushed me into his bed with his lot of strenth..I was screaming and did slap his face more than a few times. I lost...he won."

 

And here I just get very bad vibes. She is dating this guy and telling him about you? WTF? She has never met you! She says: "as I was serious about you and my feeling for you is real although we haven't met"!!! I mean, c'mon mate, this is serious nutter talk here. And: "as i don't yet get over you". Get over what exactly? She is either seriously playing you and trying to gain your sympathy, or she is seriously delusional. Either that or there is much more you are not telling us here about your casual internet chat/telephone 'relationship'. Is no one else here reading this not getting very bad vibes about what she is saying here?

 

I wasn't even going to get involved in this thread, but I have seen no one else bring this stuff up. And I think it needs to be said and brought up because just from this small bit I read that she wrote that you have shown us tends to make me think she is not rational and I doubt I'd believe much of what she said, especially just hearing her side of the story.

 

So, as you do not really know this woman, have never met her and spent time with her in person, and know nothing really of her life, her true personality, her relationships and this relationship... I would not meddle in this situation at all, especially to try to get this man in some sort of trouble when you have no clue that there is any bit of reality going on here. It is quite possible she is lying, or that she is using this to try to get you into a relationship with her using the sympathy card, or just so many other things that could be possibly going on here in this mess she has tossed on your 'doorstep'. Hell, she could be just trying to get back at the guy for breaking up with her and is using you to get even with him by getting him in some sort of trouble.

 

Judging by what she wrote, I would not get involved, as in my mind she is not dealing with a full deck. I don't mean to be mean and insulting to her, but the signs are there that she is manipulating you for reasons you have no idea about. Step back and stay away. If she was really raped and will do nothing about it, there is nothing you can do or SHOULD do about it without ALL the facts from both sides. I would take everything this woman says with a truckload of salt.

 

This is just my impression, opinions and observations after reading what you have posted. My feel is the lady is unbalanced and living in a fantasy world. She may have been raped, and if so the guy is an asshole, but somehow I think there is much much more here.

 

Cent

[Somchai888]

I don't think she's unbalanced. I think she's well practiced at pushing guys' buttons and letting them be the knights in shining armor that they want to be. If she's even a she. Look at all the sheep on this thread falling over themselves to go beat up that guy she emailed about. Are people really this dumb?

 

And a girl who "comes from money" meeting a keenok farang guy on a chat site and making him her closest confidant: 5555555!

 

I didn't post any of this stuff because I didn't want to be a lone voice interrupting the circle-jerk, and a well-executed scam in progress is fun to watch. But now that you made the first step, I'm backing you up.

[The_Munchmaster]

[Pom Michael]

 

And the record should show that there were other cautious voices too.

Bust,

Is she playing you?

Only one side of the story.

 

And Stick - I remember a story about you getting involved in a situation and then both sides turning on you. I was really surprised by your comment in this thread.

 

Cheers!

[ChristianTroy]

The real questions is, why would she have to scam him with such a story when they are both on excellent terms? Probably she knows things about Bust that make him just the right person to turn to?

What do we know about their history?

Are we profiling a possible rape victim based on her nationality and because some people here confusing love with an arrangement you gotta pay for?

 

There are certainly some inconsistencies in her mail as Cent politely pointed out. Fact is a man can not imagine what it means to be raped and therefore i would never dare to judge a persons wording that was just abused. Having said that and wondering why would she turn to him if she believes he might hate her, I would be surprised about the level of sophistication if this was some sort of revenge to get back at the guy. I would expect a lot more drama in this, way more shocking and heartbreaking details. That means her mail is either genuine or she is a professional con artist because an amateur with a plan would not write a letter with so little details and without asking for help.

 

Main point is that Bust believes her and he is the only one that knows her and I am sure he wasn't asking for comments from alt accounts or people that believe all thai girls wear a number on their wrist! :evil:

[bust]

Lots of post here some not really worthy of mentioning, others understandable.

 

I am following my gut feeling on this one and believe her...she has nothing to gain and the girl is definately not unstable.

 

You would be surprised how well you get to know someone over a couple of years of just conversation.

 

She has agreed to talk to a rape crisis counsellor and that is as far as she wants to take thing. Still cannot understand why woman feel in some way responsible for this type of shit.

 

As for the guy. If he is here on an exchange program doing research I really think the university should be made aware or the allegation.

Just need to figure out how to go about it.

[cavanami]

To me, if "you" or whoever goes after this guy, it should be in a one swoop operation. If the action is not swift and complete, then this guy will be looking to take revenge on the lady.

 

All of this is predicated on *** if *** he is guilty.

[Faustian]

I don't think she's unbalanced. I think she's well practiced at pushing guys' buttons and letting them be the knights in shining armor that they want to be. If she's even a she. Look at all the sheep on this thread falling over themselves to go beat up that guy she emailed about. Are people really this dumb?

 

And a girl who "comes from money" meeting a keenok farang guy on a chat site and making him her closest confidant: 5555555!

 

I didn't post any of this stuff because I didn't want to be a lone voice interrupting the circle-jerk, and a well-executed scam in progress is fun to watch. But now that you made the first step, I'm backing you up.

 

You'd have to be insane and/or pretty sick to make this shit up....like seriously mentally unbalanced.

 

I think Bust is an intelligent guy who knows the drill and knows this lady. Talking on the phone for an extended period does tend to allow you to get to know someone. It's known as interaction. Meeting someone face to face doesn't mean you know them any better, especially if they are a pathological liar, as you're suggesting this lady might be. Plenty of people are fooled all the time by people they've met face to face (think, customers of bargirls).

 

Furthermore, this lady might genuinely think of Bust as a nice guy, as I'm sure he is. Her conversations may have led her to view him in a favourable light and perhaps dream a little about him. All very ordinary, all very normal, especially for a lady who isn't particularly young anymore. I read much of her note as a cry for help and looking for someone independent for advice, who she views as trustoworthy. Such things have happened to me on numerous occasions.

 

If it is a scam, then she's completely crazy and obviously has a low opinion of Bust and she would soon discover, that she has made a serious error of judgement. I'm sure Bust doesn't suffer fools.

 

I'm troubled by your post on this issue in many ways. It's full of scorn and rather angry. It maybe that you've been hurt by a lady or 2 at times in your life. Don't let this cloud your judgement.

 

As someone who has worked with victims of abuse, I'm inclined to listen and investigate first. There's always 2 sides to every tale. Bust might not have the full story, but he is doing the right thing by listening and advising her on her best course of action. Remember it is her that doesn't want to make a fuss.....