ThaiHome Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 I am not sure if you are disagreeing with me or not. I'm glad your gf was able to persuade her family to quit the pig farm idea. What would have happened if she had not been able to do so? TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 "Can any Thai/farang relationship work? It would seem the odds are stacked against us. In the end, it would seem, that if you like Thai girl, you had better be ready to support her, and her entire family. End of story.......you will always be called to do so at some point. " Thats very glum view? My view is that these things has to do with what is expected and promised in a relationship. Being a good dude and helping a bit is probably what most farangs do. I think "supporting her and her family" covers a small minority. I supported my ex in our first couple of years. Never her family. After she got a job she contributed to the household as in normal farang marriages. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 ""In the end, it would seem, that if you like Thai girl, you had better be ready to support her, and her entire family. End of story.......you will always be called to do so at some point. HT, Not really sure that you are right here.............. More than once a TG will decide also how much is possible, and how much is BS. Also having met both of them, I can only hope than for once Mee will say that enough is enough and will - finally - make a choice for herself ! Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 Hi check_bin_krap, >>>>Thats very glum view? My view is that these things has to do with what is expected and promised in a relationship. <<<< Hense my question to Thalenoi about his previous disscusions with her, in my post. A glum view? Yea, it is. I don't want it to be. Really. I'd love to hear that you can often meet the Thai girl of your dreams, and live happily ever after. It just seems to rarely happen, because of the cultural differences, and other factors. I will also admit that another factor may be that punters who 'do' find their perfect Thai partner, may tend not to find the desire to post here any longer, having found their soulmate, thus skewing the perception given here. Just thinking out loud. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 I fully agree HT, the odds are stacked against Thai/farang relationships. And the ones who succeed for some time might end up back here - LOL. But we keep trying, so there must be some reward to be found there Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 >What would have happened if she had not been able to do so? They wouldn't have gotten the farm anyway. The platform is - only things around my gf get considered for buying. What the hell would my gf do with that pig farm? The family gets their allowance and that is it. The way she copes with their requests and wishes is transparent to me. I would guess, she's telling them that there is an improvement in their lives, they get their "pension" every month on time, she's been going to school and has everything she needs. While she was on her own, "working", some months she was unable to send them any money, not even 1000 bahts. I understand she expects me to take care of all of them. As it is now, 100US$ a month for her mum&dad is not going to kill me. TH, I agree with you - I don't like the system that brings such hard choices before them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 Hi BB, I know that you spent some time with them both, on your last trip. Given this fact, you are in a much better situation to make an evaluation. I do pray that you are right. Thalenoi's success with Mee has always been a beacon for me. This thread is the first time I've ever heard him being dis-satisfied with his situation, which alarms me, as I've always looked upon them as to what dispells the many myths perpatrated so often about Thai/farang relations. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 I don't think this system is any different in the USA as it is in LOS or other developing countries. It is All about economics and where the $$$$ are going to come from. Whoever in the family has the most marketability, skills or value will take care of the family. Think about how sports stars (if grew up poor) in america take care of their families and probably a few others...... It is just we are so used to our parents having stable incomes from whatever sources and being able to provide for themselves and for the most part for their off-springs that we really don't have perspective or experience when the tables are turned. Well, in Thailand and most all other developing countries this is the reality of their economics. I thank my lucky stars that i grew up in America for every day i stay longer in LOS. I will take the same values allowed by our own economics and apply them to my future family. I am in the process of ensuring my own financial freedom which includes taking care of any childen that I may have. It is the economics in america that shapes our values systems which allows us to give back rather than take take from our family. Since my parents took care of me through college, it is from this experience i will do the same for my children. Is the Thai experience really any diiferent if the economics are the same? cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 12, 2002 Report Share Posted September 12, 2002 [color:blue]It is not fair for the child to have to choose between the spouse and the family.color=blue> I think this statement illustrates a misunderstanding that is often at the crux of issues such as are being discussed in this thread. Basically, our Western values enforce a fairly strong distinction between our (nucelar) family and everything else. This can be contrasted to Thai society, where that inner circle of "family" is considerably larger. In other words, I find it doubtful that a Thai person would interpret this situation as a child being forced to choose between spouse and family (assuming the absence of outright scams, etc). Now having said that, I too have found myself in similar situations. It wasn't so much being hit up to help out under various circumstances that bugged me. It was the reason the help was required in the first place. Ie the brother crashes his motorcycle after a night of drinking and causes damages, no one would ever hold the little fuck responsible, instead the daughters had to work a little harder to pay the debt. Or the parents needing something (land, buffalo, whatever) and borrowing the money *before* anyone has been lined up to help pay for it, and suddenly there's an "emergency" at hand. The key thing is not whether you get hit up to help out -- you will, and frankly, if that causes people angst then they shouldn't be playing around in a serious relationship with a Thai girl. But it's the attitude with which they try to get you to help out, and how your girl reacts. Only you can tell whether there's something fishy going on. IMO it is precisely these kinds of indicents that provide the criteria for judging a Thai girl's suitability for long-term relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted September 13, 2002 Report Share Posted September 13, 2002 Hi, "The key thing is not whether you get hit up to help out -- you will" You will? I guess this depends on both the girl and the girl's family. My wife's sister had an operation 2 years ago, and needed another 6,000 Baht. The only reason I found out is because my wife didn't have quick access to 6,000 Baht at the time. Last year, we had an extention to my parents-in-law's house build (for our use). My brother-in-law did most of the work (2-3 months), and refused any pay. My wife then tried giving it to her sister. She too refused point blank. And these are people scraping together money to send their kids to school. Whenever we go home, we always return with more then when we came. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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