AF16 Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 What is the differance between giving her a monthly sum of money and giving her money when she asks? The first will make her look at you as a fool and the seccond with resentment? Untill she gets a diffrent job they will live on one income. I agree that on the face of it making an arrangment on 40 000 bath seems like a buy rather than a way to split the inncome and make sure there is some equity in the relationship, but it's all in how one excecute the arrangment. Again I go back to talking and trying to understand each others. Not saying it will change things, that depends on the both of them, but I belive it would increase the odds a bit for succeeding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 >>What is the differance between giving her a monthly sum of money and giving her money when she asks?<< There is a world of difference. Once you commit to the 40,000 baht you have to keep paying it. Even if she turns out to be a lazy ruthless cunt. Because if you stop paying it, you are the asshole farang who lied and screwed over that poor little thai girl. Luring her out of the bar, or to your country with these promises. And then reneging. If you refuse to pay the agreed monthly payment, even for good reason, then you "obviously" are a vicious exploiter of poor innocent thai girls. The thai family will probably put a hit on you if you show your face LOL! When my girl comes home at 5am in the morning, she ain't getting a 40,000 baht check in return. She better play her part if she wants money and she has no reason to do so if the poor slob of a farang has already promised "with all his heart" to pay her that amount "if you will just come with me." (sob sob) If Dad needs a new tractor and a case of whiskey, she can come and ask me and i will decide which expense if any is a good idea. If she wants to buy a boob job (costs 120,000 baht in thailand right?) she can come and ask me before spending MY money on it. Now someone is gonna say "MaiLuk is controlling. You have to trust your woman." GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!! This a bargirl we are talking about. Give her 40,000 baht is pissing in the fucking wind. Take control of your money in these sort of relationships and there might be a lot less stories of guys crying about how their thai girl took all this money from them and then fucked off. And when they do fuck off with some guy they REALLY love, its gonna be a guy who laughed in her face when she asked him for money. She respects that guy so it was actually possible for her to love him. Without respect there ain't gonna be love or anything else useful coming from your thai sweetheart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 My wife hates the feeling of having to ask me for money and then having me decide if it's ok or not. I would feel excactly the same. So I set aside one sum for her and it's hers. She can do what she wants no question asked. Now she stay home taking care of the baby and will do so for one and a half years more, at which the child is old enough to start kindergarden. If he finds out the girl is no good, then one could just end the relationship no? To withold money because she is not 'good enoug' is not what a relationship is about. If you treat her as a whore how would she view you? On the other hand to pay someone to stay with you is not ideal either, but if that is what's going on I do not know. The devil is in the details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 >>So I set aside one sum for her and it's hers. She can do what she wants no question asked.<< In a new RT this would only bring bad results. I know, there are exceptions. But why play the odds when they are against you. Farang who control wallet control the world. Farang give wallet lady, lady control farang -- Confucius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 In a relationship you treat each other like equals. If you sit on the money and give out smal sums if she is worthy you are her boss. Bargirl or not that will not feel good for most. The problem is that if she is playing him it will not matter if he does the right thing, but if he has half a chanse he would have to treat her right without beeing a pushover. Just handing her 40 000 for staying with him is being a pushover and could lead to her not respecting him, but if he does it right, talks things through, make her understand, it might be that she would in time come to realize that it's something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 We need a new thread: What is the best way to earn respect from a thai girl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorldFun Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'm with you 100% on this one mailuk & sure go ahead with a new thread Folks make 2 important distinctions on TG RTs: a) a possible RT being soight out between 2 strangers from across the world! an established RT or marriage between a farang & a TG In the case of a) never never think money will earn you respect while it obviously was your money(you being a farang & all farangs are rich per definition) who got you into the pants of TG in question! In the case of respect has already been established so e.g. handling daily economy by putting wifey on a monthly budget might be a good idea while my mode of operandi is to let her know the worth of my money & by e.g. economising more frequent trips to LOS would be possible than if she blow the monthly salary on the first day of the month. I.e. I give her access to my money thus avoiding the payout method or constant pay as you go hassle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 Drogon, I can not believe you are doing this I happened to invite the bg I live with because it suited myself when she got fired because we went off a few days withouth paying bar fine. That was more than 4 years ago. We happened to like each other and to have a "character fit". The reasons you are planning to do this are all wrong and you are probably heading towards lots of miserey, your chances are slim. Do you understand that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorldFun Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 problem is the infamous catch 99 whatever we do to our beloved BG it'll always be 'wrong': taking her out of the bar just after meeting her in order to prevent further degrading & hardening of a potential future wife is a high risk biz & might also be taking a toll on our soft hearts... getting her respect & developing some sort of meaning full relation on long distance terms while she continue working bar also carries low success rates, but should be lighter on our wallet & heart... the choice is all yours & I wish you go for the golden middle way or pull out altogether Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted June 14, 2006 Report Share Posted June 14, 2006 MaiLuk said:>>So I set aside one sum for her and it's hers. She can do what she wants no question asked.<< In a new RT this would only bring bad results. I know, there are exceptions. But why play the odds when they are against you. Farang who control wallet control the world. Farang give wallet lady, lady control farang -- Confucius Not picking on you in particular, but a general observation is that a lot of advice given here about "relationships" are given by guys who are not or cannot be in a stable relation......Just an observation..... Now back to the regular program..... ( hopefully not deleted bacause off-topic ) BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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