Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Whatâ??s the last recorded message on the space shuttleâ??s black-box? â??Go on then, let the woman drive.â?? Whatâ??s NASAâ??s official drink? Seven Up on the rocks with a splash of Teacherâ??s. Why does NASA drink Sprite? Because they canâ??t get Seven-Up. What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Hitler walks into the meeting room and turns to his trusted staff, â??I want you to organise the execution of 10 000 Jews and two hedgehogsâ??. Everyone looks around the table and after a long silence Goering pipes up, â??Mein Führer, why do you want to kill two hedgehogs?â??. Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, â??You see, no one cares about the Jewsâ??. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Three Jews win the lottery and scoop the £8m jackpot. They are getting ready to divvy up the cash and one says: â??Right, so thatâ??s £2 million to me, £2 million to each of you, and £2 million to the Germansâ??. The other two reply, â??£2 million to the fucking GERMANS? What the fuck for?â??. Says the first Jew, rolling up his sleeve: â??Well, they did give us the numbersâ??. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife is dead. Did you hear about the man with five penises? His pants fit like a glove. Had my first blow job today. â?¦ Five whiskeys and I still canâ??t get rid of the taste. Whatâ??s blue and sticky? Smurf cum. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She choked. What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About five drinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake. I like my women the way I like my coffee: ground up, in my freezer. Whatâ??s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage. Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess snails make? An undertaker says to a bereaved husband, â??When did you realise your wife was dead?â?? â??Well,â?? he replies, â??the sex was the same but the dishes just kept piling up...â?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 What do you call a Serbian prostitute? Slobberdownmycockyoubitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 A man walks into a lift, which already has a very attractive woman in it. As the lift is going up he asks, â??Excuse me miss, can I smell your fanny?â??. â??Certainly not!â?? came her astonished reply. â??Ah! It must be your feet then.â?? What do you call ten vaginas stacked up on top of each other? A block of flaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 What happened to the Irish terrorist who tried to blow up a bus? He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe. How do you get a one-armed Irishman out of a tree? Wave. Why wasnâ??t Jesus born in Ireland? Because they couldnâ??t find three wise men or a virgin. There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin â??If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck itâ?? There was a young chap called Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave He said, â??I admit She does smell a bit But look at the money I saveâ?? I love my dog and he loves me And thatâ??s the way love is supposed to be But when it comes to having sex â??Woof Woof Woof!â?? barks my dog Rex How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler. Why do elephants have big ears? Because Noddy wouldnâ??t pay the ransom. Whatâ??s a shitzu? A zoo with no animals. Why does Edward Woodward have so many Dâ??s in his name? Because otherwise heâ??d be Ewar Woowar. Where does Kylie buy her kebabs from? Jasonâ??s doner-van. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted October 16, 2008 Report Share Posted October 16, 2008 Good one ...the Kylie one :thumbup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted October 17, 2008 Report Share Posted October 17, 2008 Munchie it is 2008 you are cutting and pasting jokes that were in my inbox in 1998 Go and post on the useless thread we started it for you! Cutting and pasting your jokes? I don't think I've ever seen you post a joke (other than most of your posts). Try doing that instead of bleating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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