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St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates checking up on the people waiting to enter Heaven.


He asks the next one in line, "So, who are you, and what did you do on Earth?".


The fellow says, "I'm Barack Obama, and I was the first black person to be elected President of the United States."


St. Peter replies,"The U.S.? A black President? You gotta be kidding me! When did this happen?"


To which Obama replies, "About twenty minutes ago."

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A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar and turned to the astonished patrons.


"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."


The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.


The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals, unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was

delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.


"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.


A woman timidly spoke up, "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

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A small white guy went into an elevator, when he got in he noticed a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black guy looked down upon the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown."


The small guy fainted!!


The huge black dude picked up the little white guy and brought him to, slapping his face and shaking him.


He asked the small white guy, "What's wrong?"


The white guy replied, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"


The black giant looked down and repeated, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball and my name is Turner Brown."


The white guy sighed and said, "Thank God for that! I thought you said 'Turn around!!'"

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?

He doesnâ??t know heâ??s black.


How did Stevie Wonder burn his ear?

The phone rang and he answered the iron.


How did Stevie Wonder burn his other ear?

They called back.


You ever seen Stevie Wonderâ??s wife?

Neither has he.

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