Hamokhamok Posted April 17, 2011 Report Share Posted April 17, 2011 Recently, Silvio Berlusconi asked all the women in Italy if they would have sex with him. 30% said yes. The other 70% said "What. Again?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted April 17, 2011 Report Share Posted April 17, 2011 "What do you bring to the table in our relationship?",my wife asked. "My arse" wasn't the response she was looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted April 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2011 where was it? ....red ink red ink......"wear" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jai-dee Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily. So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun..... "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says. This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?" The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.. He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pom Michael Posted April 19, 2011 Report Share Posted April 19, 2011 One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep stuff now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!" Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says... "Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!" Moral of this story... Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted April 27, 2011 Report Share Posted April 27, 2011 THE HEALTH CARE DEBATE Apparently the American Medical Association has weighed in on the new health care plan. The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve. The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!" The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter." The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dexi Posted April 27, 2011 Report Share Posted April 27, 2011 excellent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HellsBells Posted May 2, 2011 Report Share Posted May 2, 2011 Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive You can say that again! 25 Sec my best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizardKing Posted May 6, 2011 Report Share Posted May 6, 2011 nGeKSiCQkPw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted May 7, 2011 Report Share Posted May 7, 2011 Hi, That was funny Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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