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"Vladimir Putin, to get on the good side of
voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow
to have a chat with the kids.
He talks to them about how Russia is a
powerful nation and how he wants the
best for the people.
At the end of the talk there is a section
for questions.
Little Sasha puts her hand up and says,
"I have two questions. Why did the
Russians take Crimea and why are we
sending troops to the Ukraine?"
Putin says,
"Good questions
But just as
he is about to answer the bell goes and
the kids go to lunch.
When they come back, they sit down and
there is room for some more questions.
Another girl, Misha, puts her hand up
and says "I have four questions. Why did
the Russians invade Crimea, why are we
sending troops to the Ukraine, why did
the bell go 20 minutes early and where
the fuck is Sasha?"

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I think that everyone knows, that Princess Diana, and Dodi Fayed died, when their car crashed in a tunnel in Paris, as it was being pursed by paparazzi. 

A paparazzo who says, he was first on the scene, the son of French Algerian immigrants, is now saying, that Diana was not quite dead, when he got there.

So technically, not necrophilia then...

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  • 3 weeks later...

A large convoy of Russian armoured personnel carriers and tanks on the outskirts of Kyiv are moving along the road, when suddenly from behind a small hill they hear a voice shout: "One Ukrainian soldier is better than ten Russians!" The Russian commander orders a halt and his ten best soldiers to go over the hill; a shooting begins, it lasts for a few minutes and stops. Again a voice: "One Ukrainian soldier is better than 100 Russians!" The Russian commander then sends 100 of his best soldiers. Shooting again, screams, ten minutes later silence. The quiet Ukrainian shouts again: "One Ukrainian is better than 1,000 Russian soldiers!" The Russian commander sends 1,000 of his fighters over the hill. The sounds of fighting, grenades, shots are heard. More screams - Silence. Suddenly, one seriously wounded Russian soldier crawls over the hill and the dying man begs his commander: "Don't send anyone over there. It's a trap. There are two of them ..."

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