Fucking Furious

[wonderlust]

Hi Lookie Lookie,

 

I am a lawyer in OZ, feel free to PM me for guidance. In brief, you clearly have a case in defamation and also work place harrassment for bullying (not sexual discrimination).

 

I would simply chalk one up for the boys and crucify the bitch, professionally speaking.

 

If you are a lawyer as you claim to be you should know that you can only win a slander claim if you have suffered some pecuniary loss (with a few exceptions that don't apply to the OP) which the OP clearly hasn't. Therefore any claim for slander would be thrown out of court.

 

The OP should ignore the advice of all the legal "experts" on this thread and deal with it like a man.

[Neon Ninja]

Howdy,

 

(...sorry if this is a bit long...)

 

I am usually not one to share intimate personal experiences with others on a message board, but your concern struck a cord with me. Perhaps you or someone else in reading the thread will find value in this.

 

At any rate, I had something similar happen to me; my situation was a bit more involved.

 

At the time, I was working as part of IT staff for a local government here in the US, and the woman in question was a legal secretary working on a different floor.

 

All I ever did was be nice and chatty to this woman at work, as I don't mind making friends, and generally am an easy person to talk to.

 

Then little by little, her talk started getting more and more personal, I did not think much about it at the time. Soon after, she started "coincidentally" showing up at the different places I went to eat around lunch time; didn't seem to matter if I took an early or late lunch.

 

I think one of my biggest mistakes was accepting an invitation to go to see some band play at a local bar after work with her and several of the other legal secretaries. (Well, I was interested in one of her friends. )

 

The night was uneventful, but the next day it seemed that she was under the mistaken impression that we had gone on a "date". Nothing could have been further from the truth. At the time, I thought I had made it fairly clear to her that it WAS NOT a date

 

After that things started getting worse.

 

We lived about 15 miles apart, but it seemed that I was seeing her car in my neighborhood with increasing frequency. I was still in denial of the whole situation knowing that she "house sat" for various people at work when they were out of town, so I still did not think too much about it.

 

About this time I had made my first trip to Thailand. Upon my return, nothing was said about that, the only thing I came back with was basically the similar sort of stock photos of temples/Grand Palace/etc, that one takes to keep people off the trail of their mongering. :grin:

 

After I came back, she continued becoming more and more aggressive towards me. She would call me (and only me) for answers to simple technical questions/problems she had about her work computer. (I was NOT working at a help-desk!)

 

This continued to escalate over the next two years. She started parking next to me at work, timing her leaving/arriving work to coincide EXACTLY when when I did. When I did date women locally, she would somehow find out about it, and interrogate me about it for a half hour at work. One day I caught her going through my car in the parking lot; to this day I'm not quite sure what she thought she would find in my car. Also, during this period, I started getting several mystery calls at home each week where nobody seemed to be on the other side of the line...

 

Then came the second trip to Thailand!

 

Upon my return, I noticed a subtle change in many people's attitude towards me at work that I initially could not place; particularly from the other legal secretaries on the second floor! That afternoon, I was sitting in our cafeteria enjoying coffee with several of my co-workers and she walks up and in front of everyone asks me: "So, how many underage hookers did you sleep with on your trip to Thailand?"

 

I was in shock! Later that afternoon, I found out that while I was gone she was going around telling everyone who would listen that I was doing THAT!

 

The next day, I ended taking the only recourse I thought that I had. I went to MY boss, explained this entire situation from beginning to end, and in no uncertain terms DEMANDED that she leave me alone and stop telling this lie to people. I then had a sit down meeting with the director of HR (human resources), and explained the same thing to her (with my boss present).

 

During this ordeal, I kept my cool, but I made DAMN SURE that both knew that I was EXTREMELY upset and would not tolerate this behaviour from this woman.

 

The outcome of this was that the director of HR went to HER BOSS, who told her that if she valued her job, she was NEVER to speak to me/talk about me outside of any professional capacity again.

 

While the direct harassment immediately stopped, the damage had been done. I'm not sure that it had an effect on my career path the last 4 years that I continued working in that IT department (as I was a huge slacker back then :grin: ). That said, I am sure that any dating prospects I had at work were ruined for life. It sucked hard. I am quite sure (but have no proof) that new single women hired were taken aside by this angry cunt and told horror stories.

 

 

Could I have handled this a different way? Perhaps, but I can't think of anything else I could have done. While I didn't come out and SAY that I was considering legal action, they may have seen that I was angry enough that it was likely.

 

My main problem was failing to identify early on that she was a potential stalker with a screw loose.

 

I'm not sure that this matters, but for the record, I never did anything with this woman. No exaggeration: She was easily 100 lbs heavier than me (I was about 250 lbs at the time), and more than 10 years older than me.

 

Anyway, I hope that this helps in some small way. I know that your story is slightly different (different country, no stalker, and this woman works more directly with you).

 

At any rate, best of luck! I feel your pain!

 

-=/NN

 

 

 

[bust]

 

rchapstick......in doesn't matter a shit whether he is a CEO in a multinational or a garbage collector...you cannot go around even joking about this stuff

 

Bust

 

I agree that it does not matter ... it is wrong' date=' pure and simple.

 

But, IF you are part of the management of the company, and you follow thru with legal challenges and involve HR extensively, then you are not seen as a team player, and you will very quickly find your career derailed ... unless, that is, you bring in major streams of revenue. Then, frankly, you can pretty much do whatever you want, and everyone will look the other way.

 

BTW, the same would apply to the woman trashing the OP. If she is a major rainmaker, then if he complains the OP will quietly be given a settlement and be asked to leave.

 

I'm not saying any of this is right, it is just reality.[/quote']

 

So what your saying is he should put his career before his own personal dignity and above all the truth?

 

 

[Central Scrutinizer]

The main thing the OP has to make sure of is to not let anyone (other co-workers) know he is going to go after her for this. She sounds like the type (I've run into these types a few times in my own work before, and seen it happen to others) that if she knows he is going to make a complaint she just might hit first and file a complaint of some sort of harrassment of her own against him. This is a real possibility, as she knows she could get screwed because of this stuff she has said, and she also knows that if she strikes first with a bogus complaint his complaint will seem like a made up revenge report against her and not be taken seriously by management. Seriously, I've seen this shit happen in the mad mad mad USofA. The culture is fucked up in the states now, and this crap happens quite a bit. The women have the upper hand in this sort of thing and their word is usually taken over a man's.

 

JMHO.

 

Cent

[PhilAnders]

Howdy,

 

I'm not sure that this matters, but for the record, I never did anything with this woman. No exaggeration: She was easily 100 lbs heavier than me (I was about 250 lbs at the time), and more than 10 years older than me.

 

 

 

-=/NN

 

 

 

the lesson to be learned is to never waste time talking to fat cunts.

 

have this cunt called out onto the carpet about this.

 

if she had gone on holiday in Bali or Jamaica and had 'gotten her groove back' by sleeping with a young local stud in exchange for 'gifts' like many of these cows do, and had you made comments about that, surely she would have complained to the HR dept.

 

[rchapstick]

Bust:

 

I am not trying to make that decision for him. He'll have to decide. But if he chooses to pursue this aggressively, then he may be serious consequences.

[Steve]

Show me a case of anyone getting "done" for telling a woman her hair looks nice.

 

There was this ugly fat bitch who got a guy in trouble for almost that exact thing.

It was a company I worked at several years ago. The guy was a young guy who the girls liked. This fat ugly bitch had no prospects whatsoever and complained to HR because she wanted to prove that she got noticed by guys.

 

The interesting thing is the ones who went to HR and screamed the loudest against her were women. We had some very young (and cute) recent grads in the customer service area. This guy was fairly young too and the girls liked him and knew he wouldn't make any ontoward comments against this woman who was older and jealous of the young girls garnering all the male attention. One of the girls, a good friend of mine, cute young fillipina, american born and bred, came into my office and said 'that bitch is f**king up the atmosphere around here'.

 

It does happen, not often but it does. The guy was completely exonerated. HR, thankfully, saw it for what it was, a plea for attention. She was avoided like the plaugue after that. Eventually transferred to another area.

[Steve]

Every office atmosphere is different. Some are very conservative and some are liberal and some have a boys locker room atmosphere. I've been in all kinds. I've been in some raunchy ones. My recent job being one and my present one is the opposite, very conservative.

 

It may be the kind of office where she's popular and even though you may 'win' you'll 'lose' popularity in the office. If that is the case and you could care less, fine, but if you do, you may have to seek another job if that's important to you. A good lawyer may be in order.

 

Most of the time I'd say avoid any private conversations wtih the woman. If the atmosphere is a free spirited one where people say and do non PC things, it may be advisable to tell her privately that she needs to stop it immediately because its not only false claims that you find disgusting but its an offensive accusation even as a joke.

 

Then if that doesn't stop, gather as much evidence, written evidence of her doing it (email) or witnesses who you know have heard it and of those, the ones wouldn't have a problem corrobarating that to the HR person.

 

We all know why she is doing it. She's one of those that doesn't get enough men paying attention to her possibly or was cheated on once or whatever and its her chance of revenge. Lookie is paying the price for all the guys that have left for for a younger woman or a foreign woman.

 

 

[saucier01]

let HR know and nail her to the wall. she gets what she deserves for being a closed minded cunt

[wonderlust]

Show me a case of anyone getting "done" for telling a woman her hair looks nice.

 

There was this ugly fat bitch who got a guy in trouble for almost that exact thing.

It was a company I worked at several years ago. The guy was a young guy who the girls liked. This fat ugly bitch had no prospects whatsoever and complained to HR because she wanted to prove that she got noticed by guys.

 

The interesting thing is the ones who went to HR and screamed the loudest against her were women. We had some very young (and cute) recent grads in the customer service area. This guy was fairly young too and the girls liked him and knew he wouldn't make any ontoward comments against this woman who was older and jealous of the young girls garnering all the male attention. One of the girls' date=' a good friend of mine, cute young fillipina, american born and bred, came into my office and said 'that bitch is f**king up the atmosphere around here'.

 

It does happen, not often but it does. The guy was completely exonerated. HR, thankfully, saw it for what it was, a plea for attention. She was avoided like the plaugue after that. Eventually transferred to another area. [/quote']

 

Justice was done in the end which sort of proves my point. Of course some weirdo might make false accusations but we shouldn't be quaking in our boots fearful that the "evil white feminazi bitches" are going to get us "done" for completely innocuous comments. A few might try but there is still some sense of justice in the west.