Flashermac Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unit731 Posted January 18, 2014 Report Share Posted January 18, 2014 The apple one was good ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted January 19, 2014 Report Share Posted January 19, 2014 A Glasgow policeman spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a Ford car. He radios for backup. "What's the situation?" "A big fat darkie is dancing on a car roof." You can't say that over the radio, use proper police talk." replies the operator. "You have to use the politically correct terminology" “OK" he says: "Zulu....Tango....Sierra When I heard that joke he was doing the Foxtrot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radioman Posted January 19, 2014 Report Share Posted January 19, 2014 Check em all out http://worldobserver...gh-cry-and-gag/ 1. Welcome, leadies and jents! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 What's the difference between an airship and 365 blowjobs? One is a Goodyear and the other is an excellent year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted January 29, 2014 Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 A bloke walks into a doctor’s surgery looking a bit sheepish. The doctor asks him what the problem is and he explains that it’s a rather delicate matter to do with his back passage, which he finds difficult to talk about. “I’ve been in this business for 24 yearsâ€, says the doctor. “There’s not much I haven’t seen so you’d save us both a lot of time if you just told me what is wrong with you.†“I think I’d find it a lot easier if I just showed youâ€, the man says, and proceeds to drop his trousers and bend over. The sight of the guy’s arsehole renders the doctor speechless; it’s been torn to the size of a football and is badly bruised. “Christ!†said the doctor, “What the hell happened to you?†“Wellâ€, the bloke replies, “I was on safari in Kenya and I was raped by a bull elephant.†The doctor considers this and says, “Well sir, my knowledge of veterinary science may be limited, but I thought elephants’ penises were long and thin.†“That’s right, doctorâ€, the guy agrees, “but he fingered me first!†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted January 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 If Mary, James, Peter, Richard, David and John are all in separate vehicles, traveling at a constant speed of 60mph, in the same forward direction with no obstacles, at which point is Mary likely to stamp on her brakes and cause a fucking accident? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamokhamok Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 A secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss. She sent him a Thank you note by email. Boss’s wife read the email and filed for divorce. The email said: Your penis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary smooth flow and a firm stroke. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I was in heaven when using it. Thanks a lot Moral: A space is an essential part of English grammar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted January 30, 2014 Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 so, when is Mary likely to stamp on her brakes and cause a fucking accident.....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic and the husband more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message, so she wrote the following: If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you. The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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