Any New Jokes

[Mekong]

Been following this balloon for 2 hours then I realised it was bird shit on my windscreen

 

[Coss]

How did they know it was a Chinese Balloon?

Because if it was American it'd look like this:

 

[My Penis is hungry]

I remember on one of my first trips to Thailand there was a world balloon festival at a huge park, so went to watch, was quite wonderful the range of balloons, 

[Coss]

Lotsa damage due to Cyclone Gabrielle, here in Kiwi land, unused as we are to hurricanes....

So people have been finding out the hard way, that the clear glass thing, at the front of the car, is for looking through, whilst driving...

 

 

https://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/news/300806867/ute-driver-hits-the-wall-at-around-70kph-thanks-to-cyclone-gabrielle

[Coss]

I went to a pub yesterday evening and ordered a pint. As the landlord put my drink down, I asked him for the wifi code because I needed to check a message.

"Oh no" he said, "No wifi in here, people used to sit talking in pubs, about their day, their families, work, politics, music, the lot. Now people just stare at their phones and it breaks my heart to see. Therefore, no wifi in this pub."

"You know what?" I replied, "You're right" and I put my phone away.

"Thank you", the landlord said "In this pub I want you to act as you would twenty years ago".

So I lit a cigarette, gave him $1.50 for the pint and said

"Two can play at that game, mate..."

[My Penis is hungry]

hahahaha

[Coss]

[Coss]

[Coss]

[Coss]