Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

[unit731]

WALL STREET JOURNAL

 

By AMY CHUA

 

A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

 

• attend a sleepover

 

• have a playdate

 

• be in a school play

 

• complain about not being in a school play

 

• watch TV or play computer games

 

• choose their own extracurricular activities

 

• get any grade less than an A

 

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

 

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

 

 

 

LINK

[unit731]

Obviously this is not a Thailand post. My mistake.

 

I was multi-tasking at the time.

 

While I was posting above I was on the phone with my stock broker - selling my Apple shares. With the sad news about the health of Steve Jobs.

 

And I was still thinking about the 'cramps' that Lusty is having. And then I began to develope cramps.

[shygye]

I guess the Chinese are the lost tribe of Israel.

[LizardKing]

The sad part is that stupid rednecks (or folks who act like rednecks but somehow got money) in the US are complaining about this and even issuing death threats to Ms Chua. Gee, even gifted with great learning institutions, why is the US so far behind the rest of the world?

 

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-01-12/nese-mom-amy-chua-talks-about-her-controversial-new-parenting-book/

 

I totally agree with Ms Chua and raised my daughters -- as a single parent from their pre-teens -- under the same philosophy (from the link): [color:purple]What Chua doesn’t back away from, however, are two fundamental beliefs. First, that children always do better when you expect more of them, not less. And second, that parents know better than children what’s good for children. If you give a child a choice, she says, that child will always choose videogames.

 

“I feel that you should start with the premise that your children are strong enough to take it,†she says. “I’ve gotten notes from people from Ghana, Nigeria, Haiti, Jamaica, Pakistan. They tell me, ‘I was raised by parents like you, and I could not have been the person I’ve become without them.’ Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t work.â€Â[/color] But the odds are in your favour IME.

 

One is just finishing up her RN studies. The other is in her first year of med school (having completed pre-med with a 3.975 average grade). Both in the States at very good universities. Many here on this board have met them. They are a beautiful Thai-Chinese-Farang mutt mix, plus were "expat brats" who lived in more countries by 16 than most Americans have ever visited. And that just made raising them even harder.

 

I couldn't be more proud of them. And they, despite me being a hard-ass, are still 100% Daddy's little girls in their minds (and of course, I think so too :content: ).

[dave32]

I don't like the yuppie - coddle and live vicariously through your kid - 'everyone is a winner' model, or the constricting model employed by many Asians in the West.

 

Every single Korean woman I know through work and even in my apartment building plays piano, and learned it as a kid but not out of choice. Few of them like it. None of them could or would tell their families they were going to become an artist.

 

Acceptable career paths, non-negotiable: Medicine, law, business, engineer, store owner. Maybe professor if you do consulting on the side to make real money.

 

There's something a bit wrong there. Though the measure of success (in some venues) attained in a single generation by people that came here penniless or whose parents came here penniless IS impressive.

[Old Hippie]

I guess the Chinese are the lost tribe of Israel.

 

 

One of the stars of "Joy Luck club" said she grew up in Long Island or someplace with a large Jewish population, and that the movie could just as easily been called "Oye Luck club."

 

Oddly, a lot, maybe even most of the Chinese kids I grew up around were very angry and pissed off all the time, at nothing, had a real chip on their shoulder and thought they were better than everyone else.

 

The ABC (American born Chinese) thought they were better than the FOBs (Fresh off the boat) and vice versa. They never really inter mixed, and always had a bone to pick with someone about something. Later, I saw Joy Luck club, and was told "...ah yeah, pretty much true..." so it kinda made sense...there has to be a balance between being to strict and not strict enough.

 

 

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

"Every single Korean woman I know through work and even in my apartment building plays piano, and learned it as a kid but not out of choice."

 

To me that just sounds utterly moronic. Why force a kid to learn to play an instrument, when they really do not want to and are not good enough to ever make any real money from it?

 

Would that time be much better spent letting them BE a kid?

 

Sanuk!

 

[TroyinEwa/Perv]

Hi,

 

"Every single Korean woman I know through work and even in my apartment building plays piano, and learned it as a kid but not out of choice."

 

To me that just sounds utterly moronic. Why force a kid to learn to play an instrument, when they really do not want to and are not good enough to ever make any real money from it?

 

Would that time be much better spent letting them BE a kid?

 

Sanuk!

 

Agree 2 million %. Where I am, in 6th grade, it is required a kid take band for that year. Required. Can't they think of a better subject to be required, like more math or science??? Fuckwits.

 

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

Yep, I had mandatory music lessons in school for several years as well, never mind that I don't have a musical bone in my body.

 

The above in my eyes is worse though, as it is on top of school work. Makes you wonder if those kids have any real childhood.

 

I am all for trying to get the best out of your kid, but NOT at the expense of obliterating their childhood.

 

Oh, and what happens if the kid really is not smart enough to get the grade mommy and daddy expect? More and more tutoring, insults, 'disciplinary action'?

Studying is only part of being able to get good grades, sometimes you just need to 'get it' (and if you don't you never will regardless of the amount of time spent on the subject).

 

Sanuk!

 

[LizardKing]

Sorry, I think that most parents fail to challenge their children. Play is OK, but let's face it, the main reason for childhood is training to be an intelligent and productive adult.

 

Way to many people I know fail personally and see around simply to do this.

 

And yes, it is a very hard balance. But this really is the most important job of your life, innit?