Salaries and sponsors?

[bust]

CT You seem to be very selective in what you want to hear. Bar Girls pay a huge social price for their choice. I think many of them have a "Honeymoon Period" that quickly fades away and before they know it they become jaded and heartless in many cases. Maybe you need to spend some time with some girls not in the scene and then may have the full picture not half.

[ChristianTroy]

bust1 said:

CT You seem to be very selective in what you want to hear. Bar Girls pay a huge social price for their choice. I think many of them have a "Honeymoon Period" that quickly fades away and before they know it they become jaded and heartless in many cases. Maybe you need to spend some time with some girls not in the scene and then may have the full picture not half.

 

1.) speaking about selective hearings my girlfriend is a banker, never worked in the bar scene, neither did her friends (said that about 20 times in post you have directly answered to me)

 

2.) yes some of them become jaded and heartless, but it is them who join the bar scene. Why they join the bar scene? Because it looks like the easier way! If you don't believe me go and work for 10 days on rice farm and then fuck 10 ugly girls in 10 days, you get the same payment as them, please let me know which job you find easier!

 

3) for some it turns out to be easy and for some it sucks big time like in every other job in the world! I am aware that the girls always give a piece of themselves when they go with a customer and I know this is not a good thing but at the end it was their choice because they are making more money!

Please don't tell me there are no other choices!

 

4) Thailand is not a country with many possibilities, i never blamed a girl for working in a bar, I am blaming them for not even trying something else! Besides that working in the bar is considered a Phase in their life, none of them intends to stay there for long, the most of them try to find a farang who takes care of them. Reality and Truth are far apart in this case. We know that but they don't and this why they have chosen the EASY WAY, because they think they'll find Mr Wallet and life is good!

 

5) I can understand that people try to defend their lovely bar girls, nothings wrong with that!

[bust]

Not always black and white CT. Maybe I am just getting comfused. Your views seem to shift from thread to thread.

[..]

BuffHello said:

they just cant go without a cock between their legs for more than 2 weeks .paid or free. maybe they might chakwow but in 99% of cases they will be shagging a thai or farang bloke whilst the sponsor is way .

Hmmm, any "gal" that chuckwows is not likely to get anywhere near me LOL! :o

 

Cheers,

SD

[Old Hippie]

Trouble is, sending them money will either make them dependaent on it, thus requiring them to stay in the game should you dump them, or it will kill their initiative to go do something else...why "...Bioyfriend send money, no need job..."

 

I know a zillion BGs who have sponsors (some even married) who still work. I also know "GTGs/bgs who have sponsors and quit, but will not go get another job. two girls I know, work, but quit at the slightest incident, why? "...I don't need the money, have BF..."

 

So for the guys whom want to send it, because ït makes me feel good" remember, you are really just adding to her problems more times then not...of course, exceptionjs to every rule...

[Guest]

My ex, which i had sponored, got a tatoo with my name on her shoulder after 2 weeks, after I broke up with her...

 

So when you say that all of these girls are scamming their sponsors you either way know the wrong girls or you are in the wrong city or maybe it is a combination of both. NEP is not a place to fall in love, NEP is a place to have fun... nothing else!

I notice that your story begins with a reference to your "ex".

 

Living here, I have the benefit of seeing BGs when their sponsors are not around. I see what really happens the evening after the sponsor gets on an airplane back to Farangland.

 

I have BG "pals", meaning we go out drinking and partying and we know quite a bit about each other's personal lives and I hear their side of the story. They are all quite candid about their relationships, and I am not critical of them. But let's be honest: they all look at sponsorship relationships in financial terms.

 

Why would anyone reasonably expect them to see these relationships in any other way? That's how they see it, and I don't blame them.

 

Maybe BGs in Pattaya are different, but I doubt it. I also have Farang friends that visit or have lived her for stretches of, say, 6 months, and believe, or try to believe, their relationships with BGs are for real. I see how hard they desparately cling to these illusions. But I also know the truth.

[..]

Yup. Gotta agree with Gaddie here.

 

Damn, twice in a week LOL!

 

Cheers,

SD

[Guest lazyphil]

well i know a couple rather well, she just had a baby with him (lived with him for 6 years)and since then hes enbarked on two trips to los on his own and hes not on a temple tour me thinks, she calls my mrs from this european country most unimpressed with his obsession, her plan was to live happily ever after not be left holding the baby while hubby goes awol in thailand.... :: ...not my business so when we speak i dont make any comments to him about it...its a case of he holds the purse strings so up to him!

[ChristianTroy]

Gadfly1 said:

I notice that your story begins with a reference to your "ex".

 

Yes sir, but maybe you misunderstood my gibberish! She did nothing wrong, she went home at the same time when I went home!

I was at her home there was not Thai boyfried (i mention that before someone posts that suggestion)

 

Gadfly1 said:

Living here, I have the benefit of seeing BGs when their sponsors are not around. I see what really happens the evening after the sponsor gets on an airplane back to Farangland.

 

same same - no different

in my experience it depends on the sponsors. Like I have mentionend above: if the sponsor is handsome, has big money and if he promised to return within the next 4-8 weeks she will most likely wait for him or even fall in love with him. (in Pattaya)

 

I see them 'cheating' on older men, on bum bui men or on handsome cheap charlies. Well, this is what I have seen, but after 11pm i don't see much anymore Maybe I am wrong!

 

Gadfly1 said:

I have BG "pals", meaning we go out drinking and partying and we know quite a bit about each other's personal lives.....

 

....But let's be honest: they all look at sponsorship relationships in financial terms.

 

I have those kind of 'pals' too, actually I would like to call them friends because whenever I needed them when i had problems they where there for me without asking anything in return!

They know they have nothing to hide and this why i believe they telling me the truth: the bottomline of their opinion is, that if they guy is handsome, nice and he has big money, why would they jeopardize that for some thousand baht. These 3 girls prefer Farangs and not Thais, they hope to find the one and end up crying 2 times a month! I met one of these girls because she loved my buddy like mad, I was the one who lifted her up again since she refused to eat!

 

In the most cases i guess you are right, the relationship has a financial purpose.

 

It also depends on the age of the girl, when she is under 21 she most likely falls in love really quick with a handsome guy while the 'older' girls protect themselves better as they have been hurt too many times when they started to work!!!

 

Gadfly1 said:

Why would anyone reasonably expect them to see these relationships in any other way? That's how they see it, and I don't blame them.

 

I don't blame them too, I blame the Farang for beeing so blind and unsensitive. If a girl is in love with you , you can feel it. Everybody can tell the difference when a girl is talking nice to you or if she is enthusiastic, if she gets glossy eyes etc..

 

In the most cases they guy 'rents' the girl for 1 or 2 weeks and then he tells her: "you are my girlfriend now, i send you money"

lol, not exactly like that but it goes kinda this direction!

 

Gadfly1 said:

Maybe BGs in Pattaya are different, but I doubt it. I also have Farang friends that visit or have lived her for stretches of, say, 6 months, and believe, or try to believe, their relationships with BGs are for real. I see how hard they desparately cling to these illusions. But I also know the truth.

 

BGs in Pattaya are truely different from BKK girls

for once there are 6 times more girls in a 20 times smaller areal. (estimated) The competition is huge and it is so fucking easy to be seen when they go cheating with another man. There aren't many places to go out as a couple. Rumours are spreading all over the city in no time.

 

Anyways very good post of you!

[Topcatta]

Hi CT

 

I tried telling you before that your 'emphatic' ability can be broadened a bit with really thinking as if YOU are the BG. I say this not in order to flame you but to help you get conscious about the 'other' side. You are doing a good job with your empathy but add a few suggestions others give you! No harm done if you do.

 

A lot of BG's show up for work way earlier than 10 oclock. This means they work long shifts. A lot of time is spent waiting, not the most stimulating event. The girls

"enjoy the daylight, go shopping, go to the beach, meet friends and some even take care of their babies." So when do they sleep? A BG's job is in the nighttime hours which are more burdensome to work in general that's why nightshifters in other professions get paid more than the dayworkers!

 

When they get a customer and go out for dinner/dance/game of pool: Some of this time can be excruciating long if the girl is with a man she does not like/click with. You must have seen 'couples' who sit there not knowing what to say either because of language problems or having nothing in common. Very painful to watch. More painful to experience...Luckily the Sanuk factor helps a bit! After all this she still has to fuck. With some guys that is only 5 minutes work with others it is hours and several times. When the girl doesnt really click with the guy it is very difficult to fuck. Performing and hiding feelings takes a lot of energy. Fucking with a strange bloke or a regular whom the girl does not click with or has no attraction for, has no chemistry with is hard work. Just imagine the feeling YOU are A GIRL (you cant do the empathic feeling only from a customers POV) and you are fucking a guy who you dont care about and his dick is not very attractive to you and the guy is into fucking for hours. You are working your butt off so he gets off and you are free but he only sees your finishing off energy as enthusiasm so he prolonges coming and you have to do more hours... :doah:This is not the same as a bloke who has to fuck 10 ugly ducklings for money. Physiologicaly man are quicker aroused than woman. She needs at least 20 minutes to get full speed. Unless she is REALLY hot for the PERSON she is fucking this is WORK. Fucking with a guy who your heart is not in or have no chemistry with is a 'plastic' feeling. And not in the positive sense of plastic vibrators...It is hard work. Now you seem to think that fucking an attractive guy is better or less work. Maybe you should define what you mean with attractive? If that is physical appearance (since you talk a lot about 'uglies') I am not convinced the girls like it more at all. First of all the really handsome guys are mostly a pain in the ass since they are so full of themselves that there is little space to really connect with anybody. You know very well the outer shell is not important on a spiritual level.(BTW I do not say it is not possible to have fun with this kind of sex work. It is possible for a BG to have great sex with an 'attractive' guy and with a 'ugly' guy.

 

You say: they "really love their job, they love it love it love it". True they love the luxuries a lot of money brings. But on a spiritual level we all know, money does not make happy puppies. It can sure help, but your happiness comes from another source. Plus sex work makes the girls vulnerable to alcohol and drug abuse, physical and mental abuse from clients, mamasans, barowners, copps, and the rest of Thai society. The loss of face of being the lowest on the scale of status, the loud and in the open gossiping of Thais on the street, the rapes from Thai BF's and other Thai guys who look down upon her.

Not to mention the stress from catching STD's and or HIV, and doing regular check ups.

 

"The MAIN REASON why so many Bar Girls are still on the game when they already have a sponsor is because they miss the job. ...... i believe it was well established that the most girls have fun at their bar job." Yes that is how a customer would like to see his catch. But in how far is that the case? I am thinking about how many foreigners interpret the Thai smile as always nice and warm....What mostly interests me is they "miss their jobs". One BG I spent a lot of time with some years ago, I helped her to go to Land of the Wizard of Auzzzzzzz with her Farang. I travelled with them when they met for a couple of weeks. A whole group of Aussies were taking a holiday. When they left my BG friend and I were sitting there with a Now What attitude. Both really enjoyed our BF's and the holiday and the fun with the group. She had to go back to work eventhough her guy asked her to come to Australia...With lead in her shoes and with great boredom she went back to the scene, not knowing if his promises would come true or not. Do you give your heart when you have already heart so many promisses that lead to nothing?! Going out to dinners and poolgames and discos is fun for a while but it wears out somewhere...My friend really wasnt "missing her job" but had to go back to secure her income...

 

"Think about the guys that work on a farm 12 hours a day surrounded by mosquitos for 100 baht. This means a guy on the farm has to work 10 days to get the same money that some average Pattaya chick does in 10 hours or even less."

 

Maybe for every BG we sponsor we should sponser a farmer too. After all our BG's need to eat too! The comparison with a farmers job and a hookers job is irrelevant. You dont compare the work of a scientist with the work of a clerk either. It redefines Apples versus Oranges. Except for they both appreciate a good root.